When we think positively about our spouse often enough it can transform our marriages.
In Gottman's book he has a number of activities that couples can do to fill their lives with positive reinforcement. When I thought one different positive sentence a day over and over in my head it really helped me remember why I love him. It helped me see him and treat him better than I had. When he was frustrated or I became frustrated I already had love in my heart to buffer the negative emotions. Gottman said this would happen on page () He was right.
If we remind ourselves daily of even just one good thing about our spouse it will be so easy to cultivate love for them.
Another thing I did was say "thank you." In the day to day it's easy to forget to say every often. Gottman has an activity where you say Thank you for ... specific thing and think of three different things. I add more because the affect is so nice! When people feel important they are more likely to treat YOU better in return. The fun we had as a result from the positive energy created was so so fun! I suggest to all couples to put reminders in their devices or somewhere to always say "Thank You!" to each other! Don't forget the joy it can bring both of you!
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